Perfect Girl by Michele Gorman

Author:Michele Gorman [Gorman, Michele]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Sophie Kinsella, women's fiction, bestselling, relationships, Scarlett Bailey, Jen Lancaster, ruth saberton, London, top 100, Chrissie Manby, romance, self-respect, Catherine McKenzie, love, expat diaries, single in the city, talli roland, humor, self esteem, self-esteem, nick spalding, The Curvy Girls Club, Jenny Colgan, humour, bestseller, Bridget Jones, best-seller, Jennifer Weiner, chick lit, Emily Giffin, romantic, respect, romantic comedy, Meg Cabot
Publisher: Notting Hill Press
Published: 2014-10-13T23:00:00+00:00

The night is perfectly clear, and we’re treated to a panoramic view from the restaurant of the skyline over the Thames. London may not have skyscrapers like New York but its architecture is in some ways more beautiful.

‘The lady likes?’ Ben says, pulling out my chair.

‘The lady loves.’ I can feel the tension of the past few months slipping away as I glimpse the old Ben. Relaxed and smiling like this, he really is the perfect boyfriend. Lapses in memory notwithstanding.

‘It’s not been easy these past few months, has it?’ I say, thinking of his case.

He shakes his head. A look of sadness crosses his expression.

‘Ben? What is it?’

‘It has been hard,’ he says, making my tummy clench. ‘I won’t lie to you. This has been the hardest six months of my life. I didn’t expect that. It was so easy to start with, you know?’

I nod, feeling ill. He’s talking about us. I had no idea he was unhappy. Maybe he’s been a bit distant lately, but that’s normal when you’re working seven days a week. Even when we find the time to be together, it’s hard to find the head space.

‘But it’s not supposed to be easy, right?’ he continues. ‘Nobody I know says it is. Look at my parents.’

Ben’s parents divorced when he was twelve... No wonder he brought me here tonight. He knows I won’t make a scene over the amuse-bouche.

‘It took Mum nearly six years to qualify, and Dad says the reason they divorced was because they couldn’t find the time to devote to their marriage.’

Wait. What’s he talking about? Not breaking up. He’s talking about his job.

‘But you’re so close!’ I say. ‘As soon as this case is finished you’ve said yourself that they’ll look at moving you up. You’re going to get everything you’ve been working for, you’ll see, it’s all worth it in the end.’

Relief is making me babble. I don’t point out that we’re not supposed to be talking about our jobs. It’s safer than talking about our relationship.

‘I know,’ he says. ‘I’m doing awesome on this case.’

I should have known he wasn’t looking for sympathy. Ben doesn’t have crises of confidence. That’s one of the things that makes him so appealing. ‘So the next time we come here may be to celebrate your promotion.’

He smiles as the waiter arrives to take our order, and the conversation is forgotten. But my feelings aren’t.

That fear I felt when I misunderstood Ben was suffocating. Just the idea that we could break up makes me panicky. My last ‘important’ relationship (with Skate) was four years ago. Even now, all I have to do is recall the conversation that ended it and the feelings flood back. They may not be as instantly fatal as they were, but they still pack a hell of a punch. I don’t want to go through that again.

So instead, I do what I do best. I play the perfect girlfriend. I am cool, I am fun, I am relaxed. I am the Carol he loves.

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